It’s been a very long time since I’ve been on here. My only excuse is lack of motivation. There are days where I feel extra motivated to just GO GO GO! Then I have those days where getting out of bed is a struggle However, I promised myself to keep up with the blog during these times!
If I was feeling unmotivated and lazy, this pandemic has me feeling unmotivated, lazy, sad, and borderline depressed. Although the state of Texas is ‘opening’ as I am writing this, everything feels so uncertain. Will Adam and I still have a job after this? When will it be safe to visit friends and family? My brother lives in New York, when will we receive clearance from the state of Texas to visit him or for us to fly back in if we choose to visit? Will we have to spend this summer inside? Will I ever feel 100% O.K. to enjoy life outside of my apartment? I don’t know.
My hometown was the center of an outbreak and it felt so personal, even being thousands of miles away. It was only a matter of time until we knew someone that passed away from the virus. And then another person, and then another person. I think the fear of stepping out is heightened when it hits so close to home.
I think being a social creature and feeling stuck inside my apartment during this time is beating on my soul! My heart definitely goes out to those that have been personally affected by the pandemic but in reality, it’s affecting everyone in very different ways. I am so so thankful that my family is doing well during this time and I know that we have each other should we ever have to face the effects of the pandemic head on. But not being able to plan vacations, visits to my family, or even a romantic night out is taking a toll on my outlook on life. Like come on, I’ve lived in the great city of Austin for 5 years and I still have new places to explore! I thrive and feel fulfilled when I am able to visit new places, plan a road trip, or look forward to my mom’s cooking. But I swear, even my dogs are starting to get bored with life.
If it weren’t for Adam and my dogs, I don’t know how I would be able to deal with all of this. I can’t say I have avoided breakdowns altogether, but I am so thankful Adam has been my rock through it all. Even though he is a homebody and he is completely fine with being at home most of the time, he understands my frustrations and is always on board with the different ways I try to entertain myself (i.e. online shopping!).
I hope being more consistent in my blog posts during this time can help my mental health. Even if nobody reads this, having an outlet for my thoughts is already giving me sense of relief.
And like they say in every other Hulu commercial out there, we are all in this together ♡.